This poem, “In the Health I Had Not Understood”, walks through fire and memory, from childhood innocence to adult revelation. It navigates trauma and healing, the confusion of youth and the clarity of growth.
Through Jungian archetypes—King, Warrior, Magician, Lover—it honours the quiet strength of fathers: not as flawless heroes, but as men shaped by sacrifice, love, and resilience.
It’s a tribute not only to fatherhood, but to the lifelong journey of becoming whole.
In the Health I Had Not Understood
By Cathy Xinman
Summer is the season kissed by fire.
Flowers kiss the sun, and kissing fire is the same.
Scattered fragments,
propped on spinning ruins.
Even so,
to protect myself,
I laid a smile over it all.
These free fragments of a story
continue to heat the spirit.
The fevered fire must burn until winter.
The clever cover of ice and snow
leaves me knowing nothing.
But a child’s eyes don’t speak of such things.
He prefers to ask:
Will those flowers survive?
One flower, two flowers…
Only children know sadness.
The childhood he once walked through
sounds beautiful now,
their minds full of images.
Ah, such a good season—
love will survive.
In the ways I had never understood,
he thought he was only a child
until he became a man,
and saw he was “King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover”.
He said,
Because that is my username.
You are not all-powerful after all.
You are only these four qualities:
the extraordinary Lover,
the Magician of fire,
the fire that does not burn becomes light,
the healthy Warrior embraces sacrifice,
and becomes a power of blessing.
Cathy Xinman writes poetry in Chinese and English. Her English-language collection is entitled Where You Love Yourself. Find it on Amazon. Learn more about the communities that make up Canada on the Toronto Spark website. The Toronto Spark is on Bluesky @torontospark.bsky.social.
