“I Try to Become a Morning” is a poem that explores the exquisite tension between a desire for transcendent purity and the inevitable burden of earthly existence—the poignant human condition of forever striving for the ideal while forever being anchored to the real.
I Try to Become a Morning
By Cathy Xinman
Everywhere, morning
Dew covers the balcony glass,
as if winter were softly drawing near.
Cars, when I cross the street,
find their chance to turn.
I try to become a morning.
Summer is still holding its gentleness.
Dew, with its own body, cleanses my shoes
before the sun gathers them away.
The sun—the one I can never catch—
the dew carries my stains
and will arrive on time.
Flight must always bear the morning light.
Yet I still must walk.
Dear shoes,
I tell you honestly:
I do not wish to walk in you.
The ground holds so much dust.
I remain a child, afraid.
Cathy Xinman writes poetry in English and Chinese. Find her English-language collection, Where You Love Yourself, on Amazon. You can also hear her poetry on her TikTok page. Learn more about the communities that make up Canada on the Toronto Spark website. The Toronto Spark is on Bluesky @torontospark.bsky.social.
